Saturday, May 22, 2010

When do you start connecting with your child?

I am asked that alot, when do you start trying to connect? Many feel they start connecting while the baby is still inside the womb. For some reason I feel it is after. I have always cuddled with my children as soon as they come home, infact as soon as they are born! I know Doctors recommend not having the baby in the bed but I can't imagine not having the baby next me. There is a sense of security for both. They know they are safe and protected when they can feel your heartbeat. I know they are safe and protected because they are in my arms next to me. Two of my six children even wound their hands in my hair from day one to make sure I didn't get away from them! hehe!! When you sleep you are an open tuner, and when your are thinking of one and the other thinking of you at the same time when sleeping it only seems natural you would bond. I feel it more of a natural maternal instinct really. Many of us are so caught up in the modern way of mothering we have ventured a little too far from our beginnings, the way it was, maybe the way it is supposed to be. We are so into baby beds, baby bouncers, baby swings, anything to occupy the baby without touching them. We are losing the connection, that first bond based on touch, smell, and security. I know you can still get that even when they are a little older by napping together, but I do feel much is lost in the deeper connection when you occupy the baby instead of occupying yourself with the baby. I'm sure many of you have the problem of having to work outside the home as soon as a month after giving birth. I commend the Europeans for extending that maternity leave to 6 months. I feel it is very important to be with them as much as possible. I to have had to go back to work outside the home soon after, but I also made all my time available when I was home. Try a baby sling, it fits around the neck and back of the Mother and holds the baby close to you without tying up your hands. You can get a lot done around the house or even shopping and you and baby are still connecting, still together. Then there is breast feeding! You can't get a more intimate connection then that. It's a time when mother and child are connected in a way that others can not intrude upon. The baby feels secure and cared for and the mother, well, she feels relief! Need I say more? hehe Lets face it, nature never intended for us to get out of bed every 3 hours to make a bottle and sit in a chair to feed the baby. Sometimes I feel science goes a little too far with their extreme safety measures. I try to stay as close to how nature intended as possible. There is a reason for it, like sleep, like bonding, like sharing the immune system. The benefits of nature strongly out weigh the science and gadgets. I feel this kind of connection can happen for anyone that wants too be totally in their child's head. It creates a natural bond, and instinctual bond as it was intended by nature for the survival of a child. A bond that will last a lifetime.

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